Do you need therapy?

Therapists are in huge demand, post pandemic. I went to 3 therapists when I was much younger for some anxiety and mild depression I was feeling at the time. None of them were much good for me. It was disillusioning. One told me to sit on the floor and draw things, anything…and told me I wore too many black clothes. Another older Psychiatrist type in Blackrock Clinic told me, for the whole time I was there, stories about people who had severe hallucinations all of the time. And he prescribed me psychiatric pills from the get-go! Which I didn’t take. Another was a local GP/doctor turned psychotherapist who told me to tell him what colour jumper I was wearing. “Green” I said. “Yes exactly!”, he said. “But do you see the little specks of different colours if you look really closely?” “Yes, I do”. “well that’s you….you need to just accept that the jumper is green and not be too bothered by the stuff that’s almost invisible”. “Ok”, I said. Jumper is green. Green jumper. 

This was around the time I was studying in UCD and was a bit all over the place. I studied Pure Psychology and loved the whole study of the human mind. Some ideas I agreed with, other theories and practices definitely not! It was a lot of heavy content to take in over a relatively short period and it was possibly one reason why I felt so discombobulated at that time. Nearly every chapter I read, I wondered whether it could easily be describing me! One of my favourite studies was a short book called ‘Five Lectures On Psycho-Analysis’ by Sigmund Freud. In the book, he describes the analogy of him being in a large lecture room with many students, and after a while, one of these students begin to cause a little bit of trouble during his lecture, so he banishes (or represses) him outside with the help of 3 or 4 strong men. While outside, he becomes even louder and causes even more trouble, banging on the door and further upsetting the whole class. Again some chairs are put up to keep the troublemaker out, creating a ‘resistance’. So he has the choice of either locking him out, ignoring him and risk even more disturbance. Or, discover the reason for his initial behaviour and ask him back in upon the condition that he behaves, and maybe even participates, when re admitted. The lecture room is his ‘Conscious’, outside is his ‘Unconscious’ . Genius, I think.

In my own final exam papers I asserted that, probably inspired by my own experiences, that there should be a kind of ‘Matchmaking Service’ in the Psychotherapy business, so clients/patients can pick the therapist and school of thought that suits their personality. I think they really liked the idea and the Head of the Psychology Department commended me for this idea and said that it was the reason why my overall final degree grade was brought up to a 2:1. Now, nearly 30 years later, my partner saw an advertisement for exactly that kind of thing. https://matchingmind.com

I’m so delighted to hear about this. If only we had it earlier it could have saved many souls, as I feel that a lot of people urgently need professional help, and if there isn’t a compatibility, or a sensitivity to your kind of personality and life approach, then it could end badly. One might try therapy a few times and perhaps give up if there doesn’t seem to be the right kind of therapy/school of thought, listener or solution maker. 

Personally, I feel a lot better now than I did then, and a lot of my worries just dissolved. Drumming helped. So did Football. These things represent ‘head holidays’ where naturally you don’t think about anything that might be on your mind. The green jumper helped. Friends and loved ones helped. I am still claustrophobic, a ’fresh air freak’ as my Dad would say of us both, but that’s getting better. The only other phobia that I can clearly see I had over the years was a fear of flying, but in 2004, 2 visits to a hypnotherapist fixed me. I didn’t think it would work. I was especially cynical after the other failed therapy sessions years earlier. But that therapist (and maybe that therapy) was my type I suppose, and helped me to regain the joy of looking through an aeroplane window again, down at the bigger picture, with excitement, and not dread.